When we say the word relationship we typically think of a personal connection such as a spouse or significant other. However, there are many other relationships with your co-worker(s), siblings, children, parents, friends and even those people who come into your life for just a few moments each week at a store or who come into your home to provide a service.
Of course the ones we think about the most are those relationships where we are in contact on a daily basis or are family. The question is how much do you really think about the relationship that exists between you and that other person? Of course if your relationship is a good one where you get along most of the time, where you communicate well with one another and you have a fairly strong bond there is usually little to think about. Then there are the other relationships, or should I say relationshits.
Most of us give little thought to our relationships except when we are forced to and then we typically act as if it is the other person who is the one who needs to change their attitude. At some point in our lives we must face the fact that our relationships may require some effort on our part to keep them healthy, vibrant, interesting and fun. If we don’t those seemingly strong relationships can wither and die, or become a relationshit.
There are so many questions not only to ask about our expectations in each relationship, but also those questions of how can I improve a relationship, and do I even want to make the effort? So to begin you’ll need to ask yourself the following questions of each and every relationship you have.
1. What do I expect from myself and the other person?
2. How do I communicate my expectations?
3. How does the other person communicate their expectations to me?
4. What are my feelings and opinions of each of them?
5. What improvements would I like to see in each relationship?
6. Why am I in this relationship?
7. Do I have to continually watch what I say or can I be open and candid?
8. How do I feel immediately upon thinking about or seeing this person?
9. Is this relationship occasionally or often a problem?
10. Do I value this relationship, and why?
You may think of a few more relevant questions. What I’m asking you is this, “Do I need or want this relationship to exist?” Then ask yourself, “What am I willing to do about it?”
Of course the more intimate the relationship the more contact we have and the more we receive and give attention to it. They say that opposites attract and while there may be some validity to this, opposites usually take more work and understanding. While being an opposite of someone can bring you new and exciting things and you can learn new ways of being and doing things, there are also the challenges of wanting to do, and allowing doing, things in a different way. Subconsciously, our minds could be telling us that this is an opportunity to become a more complete individual, by causing us to see and understand those things in life that are most difficult for us to deal with and overcome.
Once you understand your personality and the other person’s personality then you will have a better understanding of how you will get along and be able to relate to one another. There is a website that will help you understand who you are, your personality type. Try it and then ask those other significant people in your life to partake as well. Perhaps this will lead to a better and happier relationship for both of you.
One final thought to remember. You cannot change someone else you can only change yourself so I will share two quotes that I believe sum up this statement.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi
“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.” Ben Franklin
Think about it and then take time to improve your relationships it will make your life so much happier. RelationshiP or RelationshiT, which will you choose?
Arthur James Tassinello
http://www.thecoffeehousecoach.com
Author of “Quantum Shift into Greatness” available August 15, 2009
Personality assessment website:
http://www.personalitypage.com © BSM Consulting
You hit it dead on. Enjoyed reading your post, as always continue to pass along your wisdom and knowledge. People can learn a lot from it. I know I did. Thanks for being my friend.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post and the other about which I commented, I'm looking forward to reading your e-book next week while I'm out of town. I don't really have to say this but I will... I choose relationSHIPs.
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