Why Should I?

Right now you should be reading this. What do you mean, “‘I should be reading this?’ Why?” because it’s important, and eliminating the word “should” may save your relationships. But what does that really mean and what is it that you should be doing or have done? Which brings me to telling you how much I really dislike the word “Should.”

Why do I dislike the word should and want to strike it from our vocabulary, our minds and the dictionary? Because it literally means something, “you have to do,” when something you had done, or something you are about to do, would have turned out, or will turn out, better. Do you want to live your life as a “Monday morning quarterback” or coach after a game on Sunday? It’s easy isn’t it to point to the things you “could” have done. As they say, “Hindsight is always twenty, twenty.”

So, first things first and in this case let’s try and eliminate the word should from our vocabulary. And if you’re still asking, “why?” then I’ll say it this way. Should is usually stated after the fact of doing and after an experience gone bad, where it is now easy to say, “I should have.” It’s akin to what I often heard my dad say, “If I only…” something or other.

The fact is you can only take one path at a time and you can only use your own experiences or get council from someone who has the knowledge and experience to make a decision to do whatever it is you are about to do. And when you’ve done what you set out to do you either had a pleasant, happy, successful outcome or you didn’t. As I was reminded, many years ago from a very nice young lady when I said to her, “You should have…” and she said to me, “Don’t should on me.” There was my first and most memorable experience of using the word “should.”

While pondering or debating something you are about to embark upon or something you have done the proper or correct thought is, “you could have done…” which is just saying there were other choices. Then try and understand how the choice you made could have had a different outcome and learn from it.

We will never, always have the correct thought, action or response. Not ever. That is what trial and error is all about. You did not fail; you just experienced something that told you what not to do next time. Anything that does not go well is not a failure; it is only a lesson in how not to do such and such. That is why we make certain choices and take certain paths. It’s based on our knowledge and experience however errant or faulty our logic is at that time. You only know what you know and no more than that.

Stop saying “should” or “if only” to yourself or anyone else. It only serves to cause pain, angst and depression. There are only things we could have done. There are only other paths we could have taken. And until someone can take divergent paths at the same time and then look at each experience simultaneously, then and only then, will you have the ability to make the correct, proper or most competent decision every time.

Right now, this minute, I want you to stop second-guessing everything you do or anyone else has done. It is over, it is in the past and nothing you do now will change that outcome. So now, right now, learn from that experience. There is a lesson in, there is knowledge in, and there is something positive to be taken from, every thing you do and every encounter you have.

I will add this one other bit of information, which will alleviate many of the “I could haves’,” and that is this; most everything you do, if it is done with love and for a higher good will usually have a positive outcome.

How Much Do You Want to Improve Your Life?

You know most of us live each day as if it’s on fire and we need to put it out. We wake up, have a cup of coffee, get ready to go to work, maybe turn on the TV, read e-mails and sometimes plan the day barely giving thought to our mental and physical well-being or our families. It seems as if the days work consumes us before we even begin and then we wonder why we are not physically fit, have poor relationships with family and friends, don’t eat right and are unhealthy, can’t sleep and have a generally pessimistic outlook on the day, which then translates into an unfulfilled life.

We typically believe that the process of figuring out how to fix our lives or who we want to be, what we want out of life, how to be successful, how to be healthy and how to have great relationships is something we must figure out alone. That asking for help is either seen as a weakness, unnecessary or just way outside of our comfort zone and our pocketbooks. Yet we'll stretch our money for a Starbucks, or a dinner out and even pay hundreds more a month for a status symbol of a house or a car.

Now this may not be totally you, but I’ll bet some of it rings true. If you believe that you have it all together then no amount of advice will help because you are closed off from the reality of your life and learning. However, if you can open the door just a little bit and look at those areas you are lacking in, or desiring change, then you can move to higher plain and a better level of living. Will it be easy? Perhaps, but for most of us change can be a monumental task as it takes a real willingness to invite change so your life can be better and more harmonious.

Although many of us have the ability to have a successful life, do you want to be 70 when you finally understand what you could have been doing for the last 40 years?

I can tell you that asking for help and having a mentor or a coach is the best way to succeed. Taking the first step towards bringing success into your life sooner rather than later will make a world of difference in how you live the rest of your life and not look back with regrets and without saying "I should have, or if I only."

Do you know that almost every successful person, from CEOs, COOs, Presidents, to entrepreneurs and even other coaches all use a coach or at least have a mentor. They use a professional adviser because they know that having a coach is the key to unlocking their full potential, gaining perspective and moving forward. Just as you would hire a doctor, a lawyer or a financial adviser, a professional coach will allow you to get to where you want to be in life or business easier and more successfully.

Success is different for each of us because it’s not always just about the MONEY. And while you may initially use a coach for this purpose you may want to consider using a coach to see success and harmony in all areas of your life. So why not have it all? In a very short time a good coach will have you on your way to extraordinary results, leading to a full and rich life where all aspects of your life are in harmony.

So why not have success and harmony, with your Finances so you can provide for yourself as well as others, with quality Relationships at home and in business, by keeping your Mind sharp through reading and learning, by staying Healthy through eating right and being Physically fit with regular exercise and by growing Spiritually in discovering who you are and why you are here.

Unlike a therapist who will help you in healing the wounds of the past; a coach will support and assist you in moving forward and in improving your life TODAY.

Let me know what you think?